How it works

This is a joke. It’s just for fun. The numbers are real, the date is very much not. Nobody knows when you’ll get laid off, not even your manager.

What happens to your profile

1
We read your LinkedIn (politely)
Once, and only what’s public: your job, your company, how long you’ve been there.
2
We ask the people who count jobs for a living
How often your industry lets people go. How much of your job AI already does. Whether anyone’s hiring people like you. Whether your company cut jobs lately.
3
We do some very serious math
All of it gets multiplied into a number of days. How much each thing counts? We made that up. That’s the joke.
4
A robot fills in your fate
“Replaced by” and “Next job”. Same profile, same badge. No re-rolls.

What your badge means

CookedUnder 6 months. Update the resume. Tonight.
On thin iceUnder a year. Maybe stop replying-all.
On noticeUnder 3 years. HR knows your name.
Safe for nowUnder 7 years. For now.
UnfireableLonger than that. Congrats, or sorry.

Check your email means your company cut jobs in the last month. Go look, we’ll wait. Already expired means the news says you already left. Oof.

The real numbers (yes, really)

US Bureau of Labor StatisticsSource
Microsoft ResearchSource
Anthropic Economic IndexSource
Indeed Hiring LabSource
Stanford Digital Economy LabSource
GartnerSource

Your data

We only read what’s public on your LinkedIn. One badge per profile, forever, so no fishing for a better one. Want yours gone? Email hello@backdoorai.app.

Who made this

Backdoor. We email startup founders for you, so your next job shows up before your date does.